We’ve all had a date go wrong at point time or another – sometimes because of something we said (even accidentally).
As badly as you’ve screwed up before, take comfort in knowing you probably can’t top any of these:
The Ten DUMBEST Things Ever Said on a Date
1. Me and this girl (cousin of a friend from school) were on a date, I had just finished telling her a story about a dramatic event that happened to me when I was younger.
She said “wow, that’s how serial killers are made.” A very dumb comment but I thought it opened up the door for me to say “how do you know I’m not.”
Apparently, it didn’t come off as light hearted as I thought. The rest of the night was just downhill and awkward. The goodbye was “see ya”. I called her 2 days later and left a message, she never called back and I just left it alone.
2. I was on a date with a lovely girl, we’d been out a few times before and really hit it off. I had a notion that this was going to be the first night we’d have sex (she asked if she could stay the night at my place since she lived across town and we were drinking) so I was more nervous than normal.
We finished dinner, ordered some after-dinner drinks and the check came. I prefer to pay on dates, but she didn’t like the fact that I’d paid for everything so she demanded to pick up the check. I was going to offer to pay the tip, but I was thinking about sex (per usual) so I said to her “At least let me pay for the sex.”
I didn’t even realize what I’d said, but her face went from a smile to a quizzical half-frown… and then she burst out laughing. She asked me if I knew what I just said and I said that I’d asked to pay for the tip. She informed me of what I’d actually said and I turned beet red, apologizing profusely.
We left the restaurant, I offered to pay her cab fare home if she was uncomfortable. She declined and whispered “The sex is free” in my ear.
We’ll celebrate our 4th anniversary on Thursday.
3. I got this fellas, sit back. I asked a blind date if she had any cute single friends.
4. This was more just me hanging out with a girl I had been dating for a little while. We were talking and she brought up the fact that her biological father was a sperm donor. We had already talked about this before and I didn’t really have anything particular to keep that conversation going besides “That really increases your chances of accidental incest, you know.”
5. I was at my ex-girlfriend’s house and she broke up with me.
I pretty much begged, and while begging, used a phrase that will haunt my manhood and the manhood of every man in existence. I used a phrase that should only be used for the most manly of times.
“Put me back in the game coach!”
I’ve since grown bigger balls.
6. When I was 16 I was on a date and in an attempt to be funny (because you know, girls like funny guys) I racked my brain trying to come up with a funny story.
The first thing to popup in my mind was a story a friend had once told me, about a jacket he had seen one of his girl friends wearing. The brand was Identity, and the name was displayed centered on the front of the jacket, with the zip splitting the word in half. Iden | tity. Now, to a 16 year old guy’s mind, that is hilarious. A girl walking around with the word “tity”, basically labelling her tity’s?
So I told the story and started laughing! She looks up at me with a completely numb face, and then looks down at her jacket. This was 2 hours or so into the date. I hadn’t noticed that she was wearing the exact jacket I was making fun of.
7. “So, your profile picture, was that your sister or something?”
8. It wasn’t a date per se, but very early on in my relationship with my ex we were on the train from CT to NY and sitting across the aisle from us was a young woman with an adorable puppy. After my ex let out an audible “aww,” I somehow managed to say “I love f—–g dogs” instead of “I … love dogs.”
His response was “Do I need to hold you back?”
9. Wanting to compliment on my date’s intelligence I said: “I have met stupider girls than you, so you are really ok”.
10. “Hey look you have a nervous tic…. oh, it’s getting worse”
Suddenly, I think the rest of us are all a little less embarrassed about any dating blunders we’ve had. Share this on Facebook and Twitter and let us know about some of your own dating horror stories!