Skip to main content

The Most Ridiculous Plan to Avert School Shootings Yet


In the wake of a number of high-profile school shootings, administrators across the country are debating how to best protect their staff and students from an armed, disgruntled individual. Some schools in conservative enclaves like Texas and Utah¬†allow their staff to carry guns on campus, much to liberals’ chagrin. They of course don’t want you to know about the school shootings (in Oregon, Mississippi, and Colorado) that were prevented by an armed staff member on campus.

In Alabama, meanwhile, a ridiculous new plan to thwart school shooters is being discussed. Instead of arming trusted staff members with weapons that could match that of a potential attacker, school officials want to stock classrooms with soup cans for students and staff to throw at a shooter. Yes, soup cans. CNN describes the letter shocked parents received from administrators about the plan,

“We realize at first this may seem odd; however, it is a practice that would catch an intruder off-guard,” the letter reads, according to CNN affiliate WRBL. “The canned food item could stun the intruder or even knock him out until the police arrive. The canned food item will give the students a sense of empowerment to protect themselves and will make them feel secure in case an intruder enters the classroom.”

Kids don’t need to be empowered, they need to be protected. Throwing cans at a would-be attacker, who in all likelihood is a member of the school community and thus aware of the cans, removing the element of surprise school officials cite, is utterly ridiculous. ¬†Instead of “empowering” students with Cambell’s, perhaps school officials could avail themselves of weapons training, keeping a weapon (or several) safely locked away in an office for emergencies. Given the choice between having my kids protected by a gun or a soup can, I choose the former because given the same choice, a school shooter would opt for their victims to be armed with the latter.

Do you think cans would be an effective way to stop a school shooter?