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There’s an Actual Al-Qaeda Job Application and It Is HILARIOUS!

A little Friday humor for our readers…

Recently declassified documents by the U.S government recovered from Osama bin Laden’s compound in Abbottabad, actually revealed an al-Qaeda job application that is remarkably like any other application you’ve seen. Except of course, the questions pertaining to suicide bombings and martyrdom.

Via Vox:

Applicants apparently needed to be goal-oriented: “What objectives would you would like to accomplish on your jihad path?”

And they should also be well-rounded: “Do you have any hobbies or pastimes?”

The application even manages to make suicide bombings seem like just another rung on the corporate ladder. “Do you wish to become a suicide bomber?” it asks casually, after a series of questions about travel methods. And later it asks whom the organization should contact “in case you become a martyr,” providing blanks for an address and telephone number, with all the offhand ease of any workplace asking employees to provide an emergency contact.

Late night talk show host, Jimmy Kimmel, cracked a few good jokes about the job application during his monologue last night.

“It’s like a regular job application,” he explained. “Except it asks questions like where do you see yourself exploding in the next five years?”

Kimmel joked that the prospective terrorist employee must be a multi-tasker.

“You must be willing to die in the name of Allah and be proficient at Microsoft Excel.”

He also took aim at the question regarding contact info in case of martyrdom.

“Let’s see, my mom never answers her phone. Contact my wives, there are eight of them. Contact them alphabetically so there isn’t an issue.”