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Bad Baby Names That’ll Make You Want Humanity To Stop Procreating.

Hello-my-name-is

What happened to kids’ names like Jeffrey, Derek, and Jennifer? They seem like a thing of the past.

Every child has to be a special, unique snowflake, right? So parents have replaced instilling their children with character and imagination with giving them unique (dumb) names.

Simply naming babies after royalty would be #basic. New parents were more literal with the royal names this year. Royalty rose in popularity among girls by 88 percent in 2015. Duchess jumped by 25 percent
Lots of parents made sure that we know how much weed they smoked in 2015. Smoking-related names soared this year. The name Bud rose in popularity for boys by 69 percent, Haze by 62 percent, and Blaze by 8 percent.

Duchess!? Think my grandma named her poodle Duchess. I wonder if Vape & E-Cig are gonna be popular names next year?

Here’s a radical idea: Don’t use your child’s name as an art project! Don’t make them a name, make them a whole person! In an age of Finns & Gables, be different and make more Freds & Georges!

Read more of this ridiculousness here and check out this story on good and loving parents.

Then watch this. Glad my parents decided not to name me Hospital!

SHARE this and take a stand for TRADITIONAL NAMES that don’t TORTURE KIDS!

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